Bright Lights, Boring Highschool

You open your eyes. Do you know where you are? Do you know what day it is? “Oh, right,” you remember. It’s 2 am. You fell asleep while working on that goddamn project for that stupid history class. You think about how pointless that class feels, how pointless school feels. You suppose that some of history is important to learn, the general patterns, for example. But who cares that the guy who created the first steam engine was named Steven? Does that really even matter?

                What’s worse is your drill sergeant of a history teacher. Mrs. Paulis, or crazy Paul, as everyone calls her. Crazy Paul has it out for you; that’s for sure. Although it’s your own fault and you know it. You honestly don’t even know how you’re still passing the class. It’s just hard for you to get motivated. Read this chapter, read that chapter. Take notes here, take notes there. You’re sick of hearing the same one-sided stories about the same people. You want to get out of your hellhole of a school and experience the world.

                But for now, you realize that you have to get back to work. You have to focus. You always have a hard time focusing at two in the morning, or at any time of the day, really. Just one more Adderall, then you’ll get through this. Now you’re focused, only problem is you’re still not focused on the stupid history project. You are focused on cleaning your room. A full blown purge of old stuff.

                The next thing you know your alarm is screeching at you. What time is it? You suddenly realize that you’ve been cleaning all night. You didn’t finish your project, but who really cares. It’s kind of done, you might as well just turn it in now. You throw on some clothes and head out the door, dragging your feet to the bus stop. Just another day in the cycle of your boring life.

Catcher in the Rye: Holden & Non-conformity

Salinger uses Holden in several different ways to show the non-conformity of teenagers. Holden’s pathological lying and feelings of phoniness (as well as feeling that others are phony) not only display the non-conformity of teenagers, but also the insecurities and unsureness that are the roots of the problem both with Holden as well as teenagers in general.

Holden’s brother, Allie, died of leukemia at the young age of eleven, when Holden was only thirteen years old. Experiencing such a loss at such a young age traumatized Holden, who was unable to handle his grief properly, as we can see when he “broke all the goddam windows with (his) fist, just for the hell of it” the night of Allie’s death (Salinger 39). This series of traumatic events leaves Holden wondering who he is and where, if anywhere, he belongs. Holden always feels out of place, as he phrases it when speaking with Sally, “I don’t get anything out of anything” (Salinger 131).

Aside from Allie’s death, Holden is starved for attention, especially from his parents. We can see through little side comments, such as the fact that “(Allie’s) teachers were always writing letters to (his) mother, telling her what a pleasure it was having a boy like Allie in their class” and all the mentions of how amazing his brother, D.B. is as an author, that Holden feels like he is the only child that isn't intelligent or high achieving. People, especially teens, often fill the shoes they are given, which is exactly what Holden does by slacking off in school.

However, Holden is actually an extremely intelligent boy, so he feels phony for not acting like it. Holden has a hard time tracing his phony feeling back to its source, though, so he is simply left feeling greatly unsettled. Unable to understand all of the emotions going on inside of him, Holden projects those emotions onto those around him, which is a very common practice among teenagers. Going around calling everyone else a phony takes the pressure off of him so that he doesn't have to deal with his own feelings of phoniness. However, this projection is self-destructive, because it causes Holden to be very angry at the world and everyone in it.

In a reaction to what he perceives as others’ phoniness, as well as in an attempt to deal with his own emotions, Holden constantly lies and pretends to be someone he’s not. For example, when on the train, Holden wants to impress the attractive woman on the train so he lies and says that his name is Rudolf Schmidt and that he has a brain tumor. After a few moments, Holden realizes that he shouldn't have made up all those stories, but he explains “once I get started, I can go on for hours if I feel like it. No kidding. Hours” (Salinger 58).

These are only a few examples of the many emotions and insecurities that cause Holden, as well as teenagers in general, to be deviant and non-conforming. Teenage years are full of pressures of conformity, but Holden struggles even more due to the death of his brother, not quite sure where to go or who he should be. I think one of the most powerful re-occurrences in the book is Holden’s obsession with where the ducks go after winter. His questioning seems to represent how Holden doesn't know where to go after this “winter” of a traumatizing event. 

Salinger, J.D. Catcher in the Rye. New York: Little Brown and Company, 1951. Print.